X-mas greetings

Hi Zaradon, 

Here is an x-mas greeting to you and everyone. 

D. Rex

Curious George: The Curious Little PUNKy

[Warning the above is not true! You are not looking at a monkey!]

Or alternative post title:
Curious George: The Subversive, Manipulative Little "Monkey (Allegedly)"

Hi Zaradon,

Sorry for waiting so long to reply for you. The pictures of your previous post were so haunting I didn't even want to write to you, let alone even think about you. But your post really got me thinking about things that were haunting and evil. And although the possum as well as the raccoon are both terrifying animals at least they are upfront about it. I mean that possums ugly ass face tells you its intentions, and the same goes when there is a raccoon eating your face, you atleast know it is attacking to you.

This leads me to the topic of this letter I am writing you today Zaradon. It is about a series of books, very dark books that are subversive and are manipulating the minds of our youth. It is this curious george: the curous little monkey series. Here are the problems with it.

First it is reducing readers (predominantly impressionable youth) knowledge of chimpanzees, a species at a high rate of extinction. Curious George if you see him in his graphic depictions does not have a tail. He also possesses amazing social cognitive skills such as theory-of-mind like capabilities, and shared intentionality with the man in the yellow hat. Both of these two things highly suggest that Curious George is a chimpanzee, however the book presents him as a monkey. This is a gross injustice to the taxonomy of our reader's closest living relatives (not ours because we are dinosaurs and erniesaurus (see above post) is ours)!

Secondly the book subversively promotes slavery. The man from the yellow hat goes to Africa and takes George from his native lands and then takes him back to america and than locks him up in a zoo. He takes him from Africa and makes him work in america against his will. Sounds dangerously similar to the shameful past of the native country of many of our readers (which may only be two or three people). So you may be thinking this can't be slavery because it isn't a human it is a chimpanzee, well, I will send you another letter soon my dearest zaradon that will change the way you think about chimpanzees. So get ready.

All the best to you on the holiday season's!
Sincerely,
D. Rex

My nightmare animal

Your raccoon-fear reminded me of my nightmare animal- the possum.

My fear largely stems from:

1. They look like giant rats.

2. I hate rats. (Snakes : Deepusaurus as Rats : Zaradon.)

3. They have weird naked devil faces.

THE LAST SIGHT YOU'LL SEE.

4. They have dead eyes.

THERE IS NO SOUL IN THERE!

5. They have baby hands.

A BABY MUST BE MISSING ITS HANDS BECAUSE YOU STOLE THEM, POSSUM!!

And in my research to find these photos I came upon this blog forum focusing on "Getting Rid of Possums" that made me feel a whole lot better because it seems that many others share my feelings concerning possums. I've copy pasted my favorite responses below.

RE: Getting Rid of Possums
Post By Country Girl in Ohio (Guest Post) (07/09/2008)
A few weeks ago I was in my bathroom and saw a tail- sure it was a rat I went out and bought rat poison- happy to see it gone and no more tails I thought I was rid of my problem. Last night at 2 Am I was awoke by noise and there it was a possum IN MY HOUSE, IN MY BEDROOM. That creepy, smelly little $*** just looked at me. I threw a shoe at it and I'm not sure how it got in or got out but today there is no sign of it. I want it gone.

(this is basically my worst nightmare)

RE: Getting Rid of Possums
Post by Rssj (1) | (03/19/2008)

OK. I live in Brooklyn, NY. A quiet residential area, not a lot of trees. We just saw a possum for the first time. He is sitting on the front fence in the yard. He looks like a big fat rat. We are very shocked and surprised. I am scared. He is ugly and sitting outside like he is paying the mortgage here. He has been in the same spot for 45 mins. My husband had to use the back door just now.

(um, I also live in Brooklyn. Nightmare=reality?)


RE: Getting Rid of Possums
Post By PTHECOP (Guest Post) (09/04/2008)
We just chased off a possum that had set up residence in the doghouse in the back yard. We doused the ugly creature with water and he meandered his slow moving behind away. The dog is a house dog who never used the house anyway, so I threw the dog house away, and I hope the ugly monster is gone because he scared the hell out o me and I am one of Texas' finest police officers. ( our little secret)

(SEE-THEY DON'T WALK, THEY MEANDER! Even a Texas police officer thinks they're UGLY MONSTERS.)

Please avoid at all costs.

Zaradon out.

Raccoons are the new snakes

Hi Zaradon,

You know how we evolutionarily shaped the genetics of mammals to be biologically predisposed to be afraid of snakes successfully delaying the extinction of the human species.

Well move over snakes, raccoons are the real threat.

I had a dream last night that I was walking through the forest. And it was early spring and the path opened up to some sort of outdoor natural theater. And there was a raccoon there so I stopped but this raccoon seemed really friendly. So I started to back up but it approached me, so I froze. Then the raccoon jumped on my face and attacked.

So this is like a reenactment of my dream except I am not white.

So I woke up quite startled, and this was the first animal attack dream I have had that didn't involve snakes (or fundamentalist saying I am only 4000 years old). so I did some internet research and here is what i found out about raccoons.

(1) There were 2,615 cases of rabies in raccoons in 2006
(2) Raccoons have and will kill puppies and kittens
(3) They have sharp teeth and claws
(4) They are against the ban on waiting in lines that Barack Obama has proposed.

All these things considered, I would say that snakes are out and Raccoons are in. And by in I mean in my updated list of phobias, in possession by the devil, and in a lot of trouble if I am still around when they diverge from the reptilian/avian lineage.

Good day ladytron,

D. Rex

OK, then, RAAAAWR.

I agree, Rawr is where it's at. I'll make sure to adopt it into my vocabulary immediately.

Also where it's at- this short film by Fred Armison (from SNL) and Carrie Brownstein (from Sleater Kinney) called The Feminist Bookstore. I know how much you love womyn- enjoy!



This is actually episode 2. Episode 1 may be found here.

Raaawwr is the new Roaaarrrr

Hi Zarasoraus,

I know you always like to be ahead of the williamsburg crowd, so I just wanted to let you know that Roaarrring as a dino is totally out and Raaawwrring is totally in . Sound it out, you will feel much cooler (except don't get to cold because you are cold blooded).

D. Rex

p.s. my roommate told me this so I am tentative as to whether it is true or not.

We are all shiba inus.

Remember the puppycam and how much it changed your life?

And remember during dinosaur college when we learned the word "meta" and started using it all the time (and still find ways to use it today)?

Well, look at this.

Now imagine if someone takes a photograph of their shiba inu looking at this shiba inu looking at the puppy cam of shiba inus.

(beeeeeee-OOOOOoooop)

That's the sound of your mind exploding.

More meta pictures can be found here.

The Missing Link

Hi Zaradon, 

There has been a lot of search/debate/research on finding the missing link between us dinosaurs and them (our readers).  I think I have recently found the missing link which is a half reptile/half cat.   I was going to send it to either nature or science magazine, but it is hard to make figures and type references without any thumbs.  So I thought I would just post it here instead.  

Other people have suggested that birds are the missing link but common on seriously, look how ridiculous this bird/lizard/insect is. 

Hope your having a nice beginning of December. Make sure you keep warm because you are not warm blooded.  

D. Rex