Quotes about Life

Hi Zaradon,

As time has evolved it seems as if I have developed enough prefrontal cortex to be full of wise words. Here are some that I thought of or heard somewhere else and forgot.

# 1 If something can knock your socks off, then your socks are too big!

#2 You can't jump off of the high dive unless your in the deep end.

#3 If life gives you power, make power-aid! It is very important to replenish your electrolytes after alot of work, and its hard work to be powerful!

#4 China is not just a powerful economic force in global society, it is also a powerful wrestler

#5 Its easier to have 19 children and a TV show, then to have 8 children and live without electricity (research provided by the Duggar Family)

Sincerely,

D. Rex

Some of My Favorite Things

Hi Zaradon,

Long time no write. Because I haven't corresponded with you in such a long time, I have had to develop new hobbies! In light of this I have become a bit of a connoisseur (not to be mistaken with dinosaur) for asian american performance groups. I have attached a clip and some reviews only a connoisseur could write to some of my favorites!

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This family of musicians has been aged since 1999, and quite frankly I have grown up with them. They are light and airy, a dull blackberry in the color nose and palate. Tons of wood involved here as well, but the oak really comes through. I can't give them a 4 star because the resolution on the video isn't great.

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You might not even notice that this a cappella group is asian american because of their white-faced masks and hands, but inside sources say they are. But four stars strait through for these superstars. They are a nice, solid performance. The nose tipped me off to this group's sweetness. A little thin and whispy for a cappella, but I rather like music like this these days. Their flavor was indeed sweet, but almost immediately followed by bitterness, but nothing to be upset about!



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This final video is neither asian, american, or a performance group. But given the flexibilities of both robots and love, I thought that just maybe it fits into this category. This performance is pretty good stuff. Of course it hits our upper price ceiling, but so what! I enjoyed this video. I feel like its been a while since I've been semi excited about a bjork video. I am usually not a fan of conveyer belts in this palate, but it might be doing the video a little good. The color is dark, as dark as bjork should be.

Talk to you soon,

D. Rex

TLC To Release New Television Show

Hi Zaradon,

TLC is getting ready to release a new television show this fall, and I thought you might be interested. Please see picture and description I downloaded from there website.

Coming this fall is the newest television program from TLC in conjunction with Animal Planet. "From Lab to Fab" will be hosted by Tinkerbelle (previously owned by Paris Hilton, but now a free agent), and will make over dogs from drab to fab. These BONEfied dogs will get a makeover of a life time. Make sure to Tune In (Tuesdays, 9 PM, EST).

We will definitely have to watch this!
D. Rex

Guest Blogger: Jamieopteryx

Dear Zaradon, Dear Deepusaurus,

I was drawn to an advertisement that a reptilian friend had posted to her tumblr account, replicated below.



It reminds me, momentarily, of the human religions – a subject I have dedicated my life to studying as a Professor of Imaginations and Aislinology at our alma mater, Brown. For in the advertisement, offering some sort of building material up for sale, a selection of bricks casts a shadow similar in form to this country’s most famous dinosaur, the tyrannosaurus rex. This suggests that humans, in seeing such a formulation of bricks, might believe it to represent the mighty lizard king and become afeared. Just so the fictions of the human race strike terror into their hearts when labeled with the word “god,” for they are a fretful and fragile species, easily squashed, and it has come to my attention that they are in the habit of seeing these gods everywhere they turn.

This is just what happens to Jeff Goldblum in the movie Jurassic Park. He believes he is on a safe and controlled tour of a live-dinosaur theme park (fool!), and yet security fails and he seems unable to escape the tyrannosauruses, or the raptors, or the many other variables of our kind that the purveyors of the park had anachronistically lumped together for the purposes of capitalism. Truthfully, an unenviable position.

And yet, where dinosaurs were (and are!) so indisputably real, the human gods are indisputably not real. They are pretty characters for paintings, assuredly, and for sculptures made of marble or bronze. They make excellent fodder for jokes in Disney movies, and like the mystical unicorn, they inevitably charm. But in all my years of study, I have never met one. They are notoriously reticent, even when one sends the most cordial requests and copies of one’s impressive c.v., and this despite their depictions in the national poetries as chatty and attention-seeking! It seems the most sensible response for humans to adapt would be to reject their looming phantasmal deities and to accept dinosaurs as overlords – given our very real ability to eat them, as opposed to Yhwh’s rather feeble threat that he will fry them with lightening. The white witch Martha of Stewart has survived this punishment no fewer than three times already! It seems obvious that god is a construct as surely as the lego monster. Why do we not take his place and gobble up the human race?

All best wishes,
Jamieopteryx

Science for sale

Nothing like scientifically accurate art on your walls. For sale here.

CAVEAT

Deepusaurus drew it to my attention that readers of this blog have taken a very low opinion of me due to our musical Venn Diagram. May I make it perfectly clear that Mariah Carey and musicals are not the only music I care for, just the music, of all the music I have been known to enjoy, that Deepusaurus can't stand. I like many good bands, I promise. And, obviously, the Mariah is the classic Mariah of our slow-dancing yesteryears and not E=MC2 Mariah- even though "Touch My Body" did grow on me thanks in part to the music video featuring Jack McBrayer.

As for musicals. Hell, I like musicals. Deal with it.

Grave digger was the new gold-digger (circa 1996)

Hi Z-don,

Thanks to HULU, someone I know was telling me about a television program from the mid 1990's that they were watching, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This show was a spin off from the phenomenal movie produced in 1992 with the same name. So in the TV show Buffy (the vampire slayer) falls in love and species starts dating a vampire by the name of Angel. But there is something seriously wrong with this. Now don't get me wrong, I am very much in support of interracial dating and consensual dating of the dead. I believe that if people are in love racial stereotypes or even being living or not should be a factor. Especially given the evidence of Zombie conversion in that Science paper by Murty & Hakimi (2010).

But do you know what I do think is horrible, statutory rape. In the show, Buffy is 16 and Angel is over 250 years old. That is really inappropriate of him to take advantage of her like that. Just to give you an idea of how different things are that are 250 years apart, see the pictures below for three examples. The pictures on the right are from current times, and to the left are the same type of thing 250 years old.

Also, recent evidence for Experimental Psychopathology has linked many psychiatric disorders with semen that is decrepit and/or damaged. I am pretty sure that if it 250 years old and from a dead body it cannot be in that good of conditions. It seems like their relationship is quite irresponsible. Frankly, I expected more from a television network that has such wholesome programming like 7th heaven.

Sincerely,
D-rex

The Venn Diagram of My Heart

For those of you in the know, Deepusaurus and I are in agreement on many things. Especially musical things. If one were to draw a Venn Diagram of our musical tastes the overlapping middle part would be far larger than the two non-overlapping parts. Oh, wait. One has. One is me. I have.



Please note the number one band in the middle, whimsical Glaswegian indie-poppers, Belle & Sebastian. B&S are on a hiatus at the moment but that hasn't stopped their main songwriter, Stuart Murdoch, from putting out a new album- God Help the Girl. He's assisted in his "musical narrative" by nine different vocalists, with Catherine Ireton taking lead vocals on most the tracks. A '60s Girl Group sound + lilting vocals + B&S + summer sunshine= I am charmed! Oh, and it might end up being a movie? Fine!

You can hear a bunch of the songs here. Enjoy! Album out June 23rd in the US.

Forever Young

Hi Z-Don, 

Today i took a quiz on which 90210 character I was most like and also heard Forever Young by Alphaville.  And it got me thinking of a group of people that get to stay forever young.  Adults who play high-schoolers on TV.  I thought I would compile a short list of my favorites, and would hope that you might have contributions I may have forgotten. 

(1) Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea Zuckerman): If math serves me right she was 30 years old when she played a high school junior.  

 

She looks like she hasn't aged a bit since the 90's.  Too bad she looked 50 when she played Andrea. 

(2) Benjamin McKenzie (Ryan Atwood): Although he is no Andrea he played a high school freshman while being 25. 

(3) Jason Earles (Jackson Stewart): It has been reported that he was 29 in 2007, the year of the premier of Hannah Montana where he plays a high school student.  Soon he can get the best of both worlds with student and senior citizen discounts at the movies. 

(4) Robin Williams (Jack): In that stupid movie Jack, Robin Williams who is well over 75 plays a middle school student.  That is crazy!

That's all I have for now, 

D.Rex

Wonders of Sand!

Oh my God, it's like in Aladdin when that giant Cave of Wonders comes out of the sand except instead of a tiger face it's a DINOSAUR.



You're welcome.

Better watch your back, tiger.



More sand-dinos here.

Cool Science article

Hey Z-don, 

Check out this cool research paper that was written up in the NYT:

Murty, V.P. & Hakimi, S (2010) Posthumous predictive markers of zombie conversion as revealed by fMRI. Science, 10(4):54-56

 

Researchers at Duke University and California Institute of Technology have revealed regions in post-mortem brains that predict 2-year conversion into zombies.  in their recent Science paper, long time collaborators Murty & Hakimi revealed a network between the anterior cingulate cortex and the amygdala, the brain's fear center, that dictates participant's "Zombie Potential".  This is the first step to obtaining preventative measures of limiting the number of active zombies in society without the use of torches, bullets, or axes.  

Hope you enjoyed it, 

D. Rex

D. Rex the Self Hater

Hi Z-Don, 

I am afraid that I have to join the ranks of self-hating racist (or in our case speciesist).  After two-four lectures on birds in my neurobiology class, I have decided that our future ancestors are disgusting and make me uncomfortable. Here are the four reasons why I think they are morally and physically foul. 

1.  Birds have labia's in their necks.  That is gross!  My professor kept on talking about their labias in there necks.  What type of slutty animal puts a labia in their neck?

2. Speaking of birds being sluts.  These trampy tramps put out at first call.  To the left is a picture of a female bird getting ready to "do it".  Your probably thinking "oh she must be in a committed relationship, or perhaps she got tricked into doing it by a male player bird (i.e. a suave crane) or who is this creep that took a picture of this bird in the privacy of its own home".  Nope this is what happens in response to one male bird call in the public setting of a laboratory.  The worst part is they will even make these responses to songs by juvenile birds that just learned how to sing (a.k.a. probably under 18 in bird years).  Again, gross.

3. Birds are very deceptive and i believe they may not show signs of remorse (like cats). UK researcher Nikki Clayton recently demonstrated that not only will birds hide there food from other birds, but they will actually pretend that they are hiding there food in another place to DECEIVE the other birds.  I am not sure but I think these other birds had sons at home crying on the bedroom floor because they were hungry (they probably should try to slut it up like that bird in post 2).  For more information regarding this please click here. 

4.  Some birds have gross necks, that are gross (see below).  And on the insides are an even grosser gizzard.  Way to ruin thanksgiving Birdface!

.

I am sorry if I disappointed you Z-don.  I don't want to hate myself, but what can you when birds are so gross.  I know people say think about your children's children, but i say no way if they are going to be slutty, deceptive birds with gross necks.  

D. Rex

Dogs do not have Theory of Mind: THE PROOF

While at our dinosaur conference this past weekend, you raised an interesting point, Deepusaurus. I say "interesting," but what I really mean is "wrong." You said that dogs have Theory of Mind. This is wrong. And I have proof.

For those of you without a past (or future) in cognitive science, Theory of Mind is "the ability to attribute mental states—beliefs, intents, desires, pretending, knowledge, etc.—to oneself and others and to understand that others have beliefs, desires and intentions that are different from one's own." This is a direct quote from science.

It's generally agreed that children develop Theory of Mind between the ages of 3 to 4, however some research points to some ToM development in children as young as 12 months. But let's forget children and move to the matter at hand: DOGS.



Through painstaking research I have found evidence contrary to your so-called Theory of Canine Mind. That evidence being the hit CW show, One Tree Hill.



Now, I always thought this show was about Chad Michael Murray playing basketball but really it's about disproving your ToCM. Some set up- Evil Dad, Dan, is waiting for the heart to arrive for his heart transplant, but WAIT!



"HA," say I! Mr. Golden Death-triever had no idea of Dan's desire for a heart transplant. If he did, maybe he would have layed off the human heart sandwich.

Unless, you were to suppose that the dog DID understand Dan's needs and PURPOSELY ate his heart to murder him for all his evil ways.

You got me, Dog, you got me.

Inspirations from our New Leader

Hi Zaradon, 

I just wanted to tell you how impressed I was with the change happening in America after the instatement of Barack Obama as our president.  Putting aside the economy, the white house fountain turning green on St. Patrick's day, and the fact that Sarah Palin is not in the cabinet, things are changing.  

I am reminiscing about this past Saturday when we went to that Dino Pow-wow and played Asshole the card-game.  You know the one where people play a card game and people are put into the power of president, and they take/reap the benefits of the player in last place, the asshole. Well, I was inspired that our president's behavior encouraged the president in the game (15 points for Marc) to take on a strategy that was more caring towards those in the trenches, the hard working souls that couldn't cut a break (i.e. Taby).  

The way he decided to let Taby give whatever card she felt was fare as opposed to her best card resulted in:

 (1) a happier environment for all of those playing 

and 

(2) a sense of inspiration about the future of America that commanded me to write this post.  

I think the event exemplified that we can have equality and justice for all, without white-male power reaping all the benefits.  I am pretty sure Taby still gave cards that were fair, and Marc administered equally fair cards back.  I think it was nice to see equal sharing, generosity, and camaraderie across all of the classes implemented by the captilistic nature of this game. What a relief!  Thank you Barack, Michelle, Malia (but not Sasha).  

In conclusion,  Marc's the best, Obama's the second best, Sarah Palin in a close third, and Taby for not taking advantage of the generosity of the "president", which i think we could all do given the chance!

Sincerely, 

D. Rex

P.s.  If you don't post soon I will hunt you down, make a vocal call to have my cousin-brothers surround you, and take a bite out of your jugular.  

Hi Z-Don,

I hope you weren't hunted by a family who was trying to go on vacation and got sent back to a prehistoric world where they meet up with some locals including Tasha (an intelligent dino), Stink (a monkey man), and Christa (another human).

Well I thought I would drop you a quick line regarding my recent anger towards gender normativity and the prevalence of masochistic, chauvinistic barriers placed on the English language.

What am I talking about you ask. I am talking about impotence. I realized today that impotence simultaneously means (1) without power and (2) lack of an erect phallus. I think that this double meaning for impotence begins to entwine and associate the ideas of masculinity and power in a subversive, but impactful manner. I think these phallocentric boundaries inherent in our language may be underlying gender discrimination that currently exists in our society. Women don't have as many top CEO jobs, and they get paid less for the CEO jobs that exist. It is probably because the english language won't even let them obtain power without a phallus.

D. Rex

Zaradon!!!! I am back

Hi Zaradon,

Roarrrr, that last meteorite crash/volcanic explosion really brought on the dark ages. I thought I might have been able to type in that dark environment, but it was way too hard. Well, luckily 2 months later I can write to you again.

Well recently, I have been working on an exam and I finished half of it. Unfortunately, after living in D.C., every time I finish half of something , I always start singing living on a prayer in my head. And I hate it. It doesn't matter if it is half way through a paper, half way through a television program, or halfway through hunting a Craciliceratops mongoliensis (discovered in Santonian-campanian, Mongolia).

The problem is that once it is in there it is stuck. The only way to get rid of it is to think of other awful frat-party songs they still choose to play in Adam's Morgan, such as Just Like a Prayer, Pour Some Sugar on Me, etc.

So in conclusion Z-don here is a quote for facebook or away messages: For thoseof you who are deciding if the glass is half full or half empty, maybe you should just be thankful that it isn't full of Bon Jovi.

Sincerely,
D. Rex

Speaking of Humiliated Animals

"Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm so depressed," says Father Christmas Cat.

Also, I thought you would be interested to hear this- PBS is going to have a new show called "Dinosaur Train."

Dinosaur Train - new preschool CGI-animated series based on an agreement with the Jim Henson Company and PBS KIDS combining dinosaurs with trains to teach kids about natural science, history and paleontology. 40 30m episodes are in production to debut fall 2009.

I'm guessing they had a focus group get together and ask, "What do little boys like?" and the answer was "DINOSAURS!" and "TRAINS!" And then it was like, "OK, so let's combine the two into one glorious whole." TA-DA. That's how TV is made.

Love,
Zaradon

The Most Sincere Apologies for Misinformation

Hi Zaradon,

I have to send you some sincere apologies for I have terribly mislead you. I remember telling you previously that Sadie, the youngest pup in our house was a "little slow" or a bit "mentally challenged". But this is not true. We had set up some hidden cameras in the wild (in the style of planet earth) and caught some very "human-like" footage of Sadie the Dog.

You see it first here Zara, Sadie wears underwear and pulls them down when she has to go # 2.

Sincerely,
D. Rex