D. Rex the Self Hater

Hi Z-Don, 

I am afraid that I have to join the ranks of self-hating racist (or in our case speciesist).  After two-four lectures on birds in my neurobiology class, I have decided that our future ancestors are disgusting and make me uncomfortable. Here are the four reasons why I think they are morally and physically foul. 

1.  Birds have labia's in their necks.  That is gross!  My professor kept on talking about their labias in there necks.  What type of slutty animal puts a labia in their neck?

2. Speaking of birds being sluts.  These trampy tramps put out at first call.  To the left is a picture of a female bird getting ready to "do it".  Your probably thinking "oh she must be in a committed relationship, or perhaps she got tricked into doing it by a male player bird (i.e. a suave crane) or who is this creep that took a picture of this bird in the privacy of its own home".  Nope this is what happens in response to one male bird call in the public setting of a laboratory.  The worst part is they will even make these responses to songs by juvenile birds that just learned how to sing (a.k.a. probably under 18 in bird years).  Again, gross.

3. Birds are very deceptive and i believe they may not show signs of remorse (like cats). UK researcher Nikki Clayton recently demonstrated that not only will birds hide there food from other birds, but they will actually pretend that they are hiding there food in another place to DECEIVE the other birds.  I am not sure but I think these other birds had sons at home crying on the bedroom floor because they were hungry (they probably should try to slut it up like that bird in post 2).  For more information regarding this please click here. 

4.  Some birds have gross necks, that are gross (see below).  And on the insides are an even grosser gizzard.  Way to ruin thanksgiving Birdface!

.

I am sorry if I disappointed you Z-don.  I don't want to hate myself, but what can you when birds are so gross.  I know people say think about your children's children, but i say no way if they are going to be slutty, deceptive birds with gross necks.  

D. Rex